Part 1

Reflective Journal

Part 1 Reflective Review #2

The most interesting project for my was the hand-made project, because I was creativity liberated, although I had a clear political concept behind what I did, I still managed to express my outcomes effectively through every medium I experimented with. The celebrating archway project made me more conscious of the area and people that I was surrounded by daily, I had to study and analyze them. And, I referenced their persona heavily on the celebrating Archway project and the Co-create project in my primary sources. I gained the experience of creating a narrative for a place such as the RED MOTHER RED CAP, which is in reality not a very exciting place for a transformative and liberated space, where people can feel alive and accepted for their unusualness. It was an unexpected approach that I'm very proud of and I only hope to be able to transform spaces in the same way through my future concepts. 


The Pecha Kucha presentation was highly informative and reflective of so many factors, such as myself, my interests and discipline knowledge and development. And then, the other structure of the essay highlights my contextual, conceptual and research skills through secondary sources and samples of my own work. In the end of the essay I aimed to explain my future goals and reflect back to the person that I was by staying grounded and true to my passion, but my aim didn't read well to the audience that I was presenting to, so I had to immediately reconsider my presentation skills and how to overcome such difficulties in the future after my presentation. I believe that the the visual essay explained myself and my art very well, and I personally thought that it was a successful presentation. 


The self-portrait project was very connective to me and my emotions through the time of my creation for it. It was truly cathartic and representative of how my mental state was around the time of my creation for it, even going back and reading the way I was reflecting on the project feels vulnerable. However, I would consider the self-portrait project to be the most identifiable for my own interests and expression at the time. Speaking of time, I believe that've developed a profound sense of time management for creating specially under a restrictive timeline for the many years of practicing and studying art in an academic formate. So, managing my time and being motivated to the work that I'm producing was never a challenge for me because over the years I developed the most appropriate way to handle it. Which is, planning a head, having realistic expectations, and putting my work first as a priority before any other activity. Although, I've developed a sense of commitment to what I do throughout the years, I believe that my approach to creating changes greatly through every stage. Currently, my approach is very mature, on demand and expressive of any thought or topic that I wish to create with, unlike before in where my approach was very narrow and boxed to please a level of assessment that's conventional for art education. I believe that I achieved all of the goals I set for myself since the beginning of the course, which is to push myself and focus on my discipline of creative direction for fashion throughout every project. Also, to test out my conceptual and visualization skills while exploring contextual and artistic topics. In that regard, when I look back at what've done since the beginning of the course, I feel a sense of proudness and accomplishment for what've done so far. And where I see myself heading. 

PechaKucha, Visual Essay by Johar (Presentation)

Co-Create (Display Of Outcome)

I was told that it wasn't possible for me to display my two films on two different screens in the exhibition, which made me reconsider how I want to visually present my Co-Create outcome. However, after having a helpful discussion with David (Tutor) I was able to frame the two films in one display. However, I wasn't sure at first if I wanted the frame behind the films in black or white, but eventually after discussing the aesthetic of the outcome with my project partner we chose black as the background frame of the outcome.

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“Numb” Angle #1

Reflection, 17/07/2018

The group critique was such an inclusive session, we got to display each other's work and reflect on everyone's work positively and negatively. I was impressed by a few of the pieces that I saw at the critique, but the majority of the work wasn't impressive to me. Before the critique, we were asked to sketch our objects and write a short description with other collaborater and even title our pieces. I came up with the title "Numb" or "numbness" as the name of the performance. Which was creativity easy to work with because she agreed and believed in my concept from the start, though she wasn't always very helpful in terms of getting the work done or paying attention, but when she did help she was effective. 

I believe that the project is fully completed and the way I displayed it today with two screens and two different edits made it even more effective conceptually and aesthetically, because it showcased a cycle of that narrative that's very challenging to describe or appreciate to one's own personal experiences. 

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Reflection, 13/07/2018

As a mentioned in my previous reflection, today was dedicated to completing the deconstruction piece/hoodie that I visualized to the ceiling a day ago as an experiment. Nevertheless, I took a little break from the stitching workshop to go back to our collaborative object and add more plaster on it, in order to give it a smooth and soft touch. Afterwards, my project partner and I went and bought a black hoodie and calico fabric samples in different colors from a charity store in Archway called "The Second Chance" our plan was to de-customize the hoodie to our own concept/context. And, to attach it to the concealing curtain that we improvised with during our first task of experimentation that we on the 9th and 10th of July 2018. I was able to construct and deconstruct the garment I was making for the performance in just a few hours, at first the idea I had was very challenging, time-wise, because my project partner disappeared for most of the afternoon stitching workshop we were supposed to do together. 


So, I had to double the work on myself in order to get it done, and plan for the shot/edit a film before our deadline on the 17th of July 2018. But, to be fair during the end of the day I saw my project partner again and she told me that she went to the casting workshop to complete a few finishes in our object, so she was occupied with something when she went away at least.

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Reflection, 11/07/2018

On the 11th of July we were asked to meet up with our tutors in the CSM King's Cross campus so we can spend time in the museum analyzing our objects and researching secondary sources for what we plan to produce as an outcome for the co-create project. A few issues occurred such as my partner not showing up, so I had to complete and conceptualize a major part of the project by myself. At first, I thought that would effect my time management and creation of the project, but not until I texted my partner and made sure that she'll show up the next day we materials we discussed and ideas to put forward. Luckily, the object I got links strongly to the concept me and my partner came up with before my visit to the CSM museum and seeing the object in real life. The object/chair, highlights on the taking for granted privilege or ungratefulness or even bluntness do to pain and personal damage wether it's emotional or physical. that we humans do everyday by not appreciating or analyzing what's around us, such as a chair, a tablet or any everyday furniture etc... I can't wait to develop this project further by adding the contextual references that I gathered at the library today into the conceptual film that me and my partner are working to complete and contextualize as we go. 

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Reflection, 10/07/2018

On Tuesday, we were asked to investigate our concepts for the co-create project further, by looking up secondary sources and ideas by other artists. From the final concept that myself and my collaborating partner came up, which reflective of the everyday individual who's stuck in a depressive and nomadic state of being while performing his daily activities of walking and sitting, highlighting core emptiness. And based off that idea me and my partner looked at artists who reflect on the daily street walker in their work such as Cindy and BRD Shit artist. 

We also thought about the blend of the piece which is going to be a combination of fashion, performance, film and fine arts. After we agreed on the concept, we had our first tutorial in where we had to explain our final concept and show our previous ideas before the development of the last one. We were encouraged to continue creating and thinking about a couple of objects that would interact with the human form and performance. 

Not a comfy fucking stool, (a silent film used to create a storyboard for object task)

Reflection, 06/07/2018

On the second day of our short drawing project we were asked to continue working with the objects that we were analyzing the day before, and to develop our observational drawings and experiments of the objects through performance and changing the context of the object/stool. So, me and my partner experimented with the shape as an accessory in different parts of the human form, and we developed several performance ideas through film and placed them as screen shots during our class presentation in the end of the day. 

I learnt to improvise an entire narrative out of an object that has no interest over me in the slightest, which can help me in future challenges in where I might be provided with materials or props that I'm obligated to work through or by a client or a budget. And, it also pushed my creativity to visualize several ideologies under a limiting object. I was impressed with the fact that a drawing project/task can be taken anywhere if it has a storyline or a narrative, such as a storyboard. 

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Reflection, 05/07/2018 (Pecha Kechua)

Eventually, as I continued working, planning and researching for my Pecha Kechua visual essay which is all documented in my research file. I had to think about the structure of my visual essay and it's starting point. I wanted to start the essay in an engaging human factor that links back to my childhood interests and positioning. And then as the essay progresses I will talk about the development of my interests in the art of self recreation, the blend of contrasting cultures and the use of metaphorical symbolism through imagery/ publications. I also wanted to highlight the use of historical and contemporary research into my conceptualization process as a creative director and how important it is for me. I want to emphasizes how my work focuses on political, social, racial and sexual matters in a personalized sense and approach. Then, I will show examples of my work which refers to my previous mentioned researches. After that, I want to link my essay back to the discipline of creative direction and my understanding of it, and how I use it to commercialize a collection or a brand image. And finally, I want to conclude my essay by linking it back to my younger self and how I was able and still is fighting for what I believe in after so much rejection and misunderstanding by people who I grew up around. I attached to this reflection notes and quick sketches I did for my visual essay slides.

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Reflection, Contextual Practice Session Pt 2, 04/07/2018

Drawing regardless of what material you use, wether it's pencil, pen or charcoal, is a vital source of inspiration and creativity for any conceptual or visual artist. Drawing is such an essential tool for any creative individual who wishes to visualize his or her outcome before they produce it. And it's also a key element for fine arts and visual arts. Drawing is the basis behind most of the classical, renaissance, and even medieval paintings that are displayed in museums all over the world, which cost a fortune and look transcending with their visual greatness and importance to the craft of art. Most contemporary practitioners draw to visualize their outcomes, and gather observational sketches for them to have an idea of how their outcome would look like and to communicate it to their clients before an agreement is made.  

I personally draw as a student of creative direction for several reasons. Sometimes, I would draw a storyboard for the narrative that I'm creating for any publication that I'm working on. I aim to create a fashion collection or piece with every publication I produce, and I complete the conceptualization of my garments through fashion illustrations and observational studies and sketches of objects. At times, I draw when I'm outdoors in a calming place such as a park, or cafe. But mostly I draw in either a studio or room, that's where I feel the most comfortable and creative by myself. I do blend and work well, also, when I'm in a group session that's based off drawing or conceptualization, but I do prefer creating the core of any concept by myself, and then collaborating with others when I'm sure of what lane I want to work in. I believe, that I'm fairly skilled in drawing in different forms, I can do detailed observational studies in different mediums and I can do abstract forms and lines usually in my illustrations using pen or charcoal. The only disadvantage I face with drawing is completing a detailed drawing under a restrictive or rushed timeline, however, that's a common con that other practitioners who draw face as well. 

Fifth Outcome/Experiment for "Hand Made" (Censored)

Reflection, 03/07/2018

On tuesday I had my first progression tutorial, it was very helpful and encouraging. I was told that my work is up to the expectations of the course. The tutor was trying his best to push me creativity and challenge the work I showcased, which to me is a sign of encouragement and true advice, I still knew that he was impressed by what've done, though, he just wanted me to take it to the next level by practicing more. Later on, during that day. I was reflecting on how I could take my work further, and challenge my abilities based off the feedback I got. I was also researching and finding contextual sources for the making project and the visual essay we have coming up. I believe that I'm managing the challenge of doing two projects at the same time well! Because I'm able to contextualize and create content with two projects at once without being distracted or disinterested and to a high quality. 

 

Reflection, 02/07/2018, and Fourth Outcome/ Experiment for "Hand Made".

The structure I completed today was very successful, in my opinion. It took me two full days of a metal workshop to get it done! It was inspired by the idea of mental against flesh, or the restriction of an individual behind bars, which is symbolic to my starting point to this project of how we as humans are treated in a way that's inhuman by the current political climate that we live in. I experimented with my outcome by wrapping it with meat plastic, and collaging tones that aesthetically communicate the atmosphere I created for my outcomes, which is political and graphical in that sense, and challenges social hypocrisy. 

However, I was faced by a minor disadvantage. The disadvantage was the closing of the net and stitching workshop, I wanted to experiment with red and black stitch/net on the corners of my steel object. But, I had to reschedule my plan to the 11th of July. That's when the workshop will be available. However, I do see myself creating a visualization and collage of the idea I have in the meantime. I took images and clips of the structure on myself with and without plastic. I plan to include the clips into the short film I've done before in my 3D digital workshop with David. Overall, I'm ecstatic with the results I've gotten out of this project. 
 
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Second Outcome/Experiment for "Hand Made"

This is the print texture I decided to display as the final outcome for my printing workshop task. The tones of the print resembles a burnt piece of meat or a deflated/neglected, I plan to take the texture I got of this outcome further by developing it into different outcomes of this project.

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Reflection, 26/06/2018

The print workshop we did today was purely liberating. I got to experiment with shape, texture in a form that's abstract. Which is a factor of art that I admire, because it frees my mind from any limitations that are to do with creativity. I did a few collages in the morning in order to improvise shapes for the afternoon printing session I had, which is an effective way of time planning in my opinion. I've learnt to experiment freely with print and mixed media with other abstract shapes that are inspired by a political and social concept. The concept is so much about humans being treated and processed like a piece of meat uncared for and wasted behind caged and agendas. I created various shapes and textures linking to the two matters I collaged using newspaper, print paint and conceptual allegories in politics as well as capitalism and the treatment of the individual as a piece of meat, invaluable. 

I was able to develop tones to print from by my previous newspaper collages that are very colorful in nature, which contrast oddly to the concept at hand that's is quite dark and monochrome, the texture of a burnt piece if meat. I was struggling a bit in terms of choosing the best newspaper collage out of the two, because I fairly like both of the collages I improvised in class, and I believe that I can blend them both together. Because they're both critical of corruption in politics. Nevertheless, I can't wait to see how this blend will develop. I plan to develop these experiments further by creating another form of jewelry/prop of out of metal or any other contrasting material to the human flesh . Or even construct an abstract piece that resembles my concept of graphic and uncomfortable visuals, vividly. The experience of printing in the studio was very effective for my creative process I enjoyed the making of print, pressing the content into the machine and producing prints and patters out of them. 
 
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Visualization of Wood Piece (3D workshop with David) (Hand-Made)

As part of our 3D and film workshop with David we were asked as a group to complete a visualization from one of the pieces we developed in to the project. The visualization is set in a grey and white gallery space indoors. I transformed the color and scale of my original piece to displayed at an installation used for performance, whether it's burlesque or conceptual performance art. I used many of my editing and photoshopping techniques that've learned as a communication student. I wanted to create a visualization that's completely unconventional to the concept I experimented with throughout this project and even the tones I set for the entire theme, which is red and black. I visualized Marina Abramovic and Bettie Page doing a collaborative performance within that space just for an ironic and humorous sense. 

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Reflection, 25/06/2018

In today's lesson I was able to display my refined work for the entire group. I didn't get a critique this time because we didn't have enough time to go over my work during class. These are the two final Layouts I selected to display my work in, however, I do plan to re-arrange the layout of the images for the exhibition. 

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Reflection, 21/06/2018

Today I was able to set the shoot and concept I had for my project and create visualization out of the imagery I took. I applied makeup on the model styled her and went to the location to perform and complete the shoot. In terms of the technical side I planned to shot most of my images outdoors for a better lighting and atmosphere for the project. I also wanted to highlight being drunk/reckless during daytime which is common in British pub culture. It also reflects on my primary experience at Archway and seeing many drunk people during daytime. The approach I did with this project is creating a narrative that would make the location I was giving exciting for me and the public. Whether the experience is negative or positive that's for the viewer to decide, but to me it's strictly a celebration of individuality and a creative fantasy oriented mindset. 

After conceptualizing the look that's inspired by certain pub visitors, Paris Is Burning and vintage couture glamour by Mugler, I was able to develop my imagery further. I created a narrative of a woman who's a regular at the Red Cap, she's off her face, delusional, vulgar and fabulous, her own description is contrasting by itself. To her glamour is a state of mind that's undefinable. This is why I visualized her in the local Archway regular delights of a kebab wrap and beer from the pub. I wanted her (model) and the transitioning male character to represent a particular type of an individual that's rarely seen in Archway, one that creates luxury out of nothing for him or herself. 

Her interaction is beyond the pub it became local, she became an exhibitionist of the pub's spirit. I was also inspired by certain personalities at the pub that showcase recklessness and odd behavior that's obnoxious whether they're drunk in the middle of the day or not. it highlights how liberated they were in and outside of the Red Cap. I used collage to experiment with the mood of my publication. The references I included to this project emphasize how a juxtaposition of reality and delusion, being out of order and unconventional are factors of a celebration and uniqueness. And, someone's fantasy and own perception of his or her life whether it's a reality or not. I plan to develop the work I produced further by laying out the imagery I took and connecting it deeper to my location and highlight story I created gradually through a photo story that's fashion based. I might even develop it further by doing typography experiments that are both raw and bold.

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Reflection, 20/06/2018

Today I spent the day developing my concept and visualization. 
Started with visualizing the garments of the shoot and gathering their referencing and the fantasy that I was channeling. Moreover, I was able to do illustrations of the look and develop make up tones based off primary objects that I got from the pub and a surrounding kebab place in front of the pub, in where I saw a lot of the Red Cap regulars go to after getting off their face. Runway Makeup references by McQueen and Mugler were also inspiring factors for this experiment, they're referenced clearly on my research file. 

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Reflection, 19/06/2018

I plan to investigate personalities and attires in and around the pub and include them visually to my work with a deeper research. I aim to create a contrast in my location, which highlights a social and political commentary. I want to touch on the matter of individuals creating a state of mind for themselves and their surroundings that seem glamorous for themselves, but that's not the case in reality, it's an extreme form of self delusion. And, living in absolute fantasy and not giving a shit about other people's perception of what a glamorous lifestyle is. This concept that I thought of is mainly based off the characters I saw at the pub and Archway who showcase that glamour is internal with their confidence. Also, I was inspired by a secondary source, a film, an iconic documentary titled "Paris Is Burning.". And the other concept I have in mind is the connotation of gender diaspora, believing and seeing yourself as the opposite gender in a different class and state of privilege wearing an outfit that's glamorously contrasting to where the original character was. These secondary references are to further highlight my point of channeling a contrast that's humorous and fantasy oriented to someone's mind, I plan to do further sketches, and illustrations visualizing the looks and atmosphere of the shoot before the styling process. I aim to create two particular visualizations showing the atmosphere of the pub when someone is mentally absent either by drinking or being on drugs in order to escape their own loathed reality, and of regular Archway walkers who are based around the pub and happen to wear fake fur and see-through tops in bright daylight. 

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Reflection, 18/06/2018

Today's activity was absolutely different from what I expected, I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my day doing fittings and styling for the shoot, but instead I spent the day doing a workshop that did not help develop my creative process for this project effectively, in my opinion. I like creating without pressure or restriction of materials, but unfortunately the workshop was a bit limiting, which made it unenjoyable for me. I was not able to focus on what I was making and the experiments were rushed. Frankly, I dislike the pages I produced in class today. But the technique of creating under pressure and from different experimental points such as, collage as well as drawing in various mediums was quite interesting and I see myself using it in the future. 

Reflection, 15/06/2018

Today we started the day with a briefing informing as about the importance of artist research, and how it reflects on us as young artists, profoundly. I was quite aware of how essential doing an artist research was, because it makes an individual more knowledgable of his or her own craft and more aware of the constant competition one faces in the art industry. It's also, being able to build a connection with your audience and consumers. 

Later on doing the day, after the research presentation, a new project was introduced titled "Celebrating Archway". I was given the site of a pub called "THE MOTHER RED CAP." which is a place in Archway that've seen a couple of times but I never got the chance to go inside and explore it, until today! I went inside the pub right after I was given the project brief, and I immediately noticed a contrast in the place, which is the difference between it's outdoors environment and indoor environment. The pub looks lifeless on the outside with it's interior design and surroundings, but when I went inside I noticed a completely different atmosphere that's full of inspirational factors, from patterns to personalities. I took a few photographs in the pub to help develop a sense of visual inspiration for my particular speciality in creative direction for fashion, in order to conceptualize a narrative and secondary references for this project. I plan to take this project further by:

  • Creating collage visualizations to develop patterns and looks for the publication I will produce for this project.
  • Aiming to make my experiments and observational studies figurative and not literal to the local pub I selected to explore.
  • Pencil and pen studies of the location to develop ideas for shape that will all take place in my experimentation process.  

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Self-Portrait (Final Experiments)

These are the final experiments I've done to develop a final outcome, and I aim to take only one of these experiments further as one of the final outcomes for Self-Portrait. 

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Reflection, 14/06/2018

These were the first two outcomes I displayed for the critique on the 13th of June 2018. 

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Reflection, 14/06/2018

After the group critic we were asked to display the photographs we produced for self-portrait in different locations, which was a very aesthetically appealing experience, because I got to carefully and freely imagine where my work would be showcased. And, I ended up doing a visualization which I will attach below this short reflection and description. In the visualization you will see my image being placed in various ways on metal. This activity was so exciting for me because I always wanted to make my outcomes interact with a space and environment of people.

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Short Clip, Experiment and Visual Source of Self-Portrait Stills)

Reflection, 13/06/2018, Pt 2

These are the first experiment I've done for the, "Self-Portrait" project. I highlighted their purpose and concept in my previous reflection were I displayed a photo of my mind-map and visualization for this project.

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Reflection, 13/06/2018

I did visualizations, a mind-map and a few notes of the elements I wanted to develop into a concept for this short project. I decided to divide my concept into three parts to create a narrative. At first it's the loneliness of the facial expression, then the body and lastly the mind. In the process of creating the images I want I plan to link them to artists and experiment with them visually. The metaphorical objects I created for these images are a pillow and bar zones in order to create a contrast of emotions and feelings using visual personification. softness against hardness, comfort against anxiety. 

I wanted to communicate facial expressions strictly through these visual experiments. My aim was to highlight the tension, tiredness and pain that's seen in my appearance in there images that reflect on my current unstable state of mine. I used charcoal to create an effect on these images to push them further, select and develop one of them. I picked the color blue especially because it connotes coldness, depression and sadness to me. Which, is why I felt inspired to use that tone in particular.

These set of images of me undressing within a contained space of bars is metaphorical to my own state of being. I wanted to highlight how regardless of how comfortable I appear to seem (getting undressed) I still feel like I'm anxious and contained of some sort. These shots were inspired by Hannah Thual's piece "look at me I'm happy, 2012." 
The concept behind this particular set of screenshots is highly personal, I was inspired by the previous mind set that I was going through which was effected my loneliness and other private issues. I found my self over-thinking not being able to sleep and hitting my head against the bed multiple to release my tension and rage. Nevertheless, that horrible experience influenced the clip that I took screenshots from to create a displayed image that's intrigued in literal and conceptual story telling. I had to select the most effective shots in my opinion from the short experimental clip, and I developed it through a different digital media (photography). 

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First Reflection, 12/06/2018

Today we were asked to write our first reflection justifying and elaborating on our learning experiences during  the introduction of course. 

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Part 1 Reflective Review #1

So far, I believe that the course liberated my creative process, and made me reflect on myself/my discipline in a mature/realistic way. Just a month before the start of FAD Plus, I was still doing my A-levels and I was trapped and restricted creativity. I wasn't able to research any form of art or culture that I found inspiring because they were viewed inappropriate, the themes were always picked for me, nudity was forbidden and so on and so forth. Many aspects of my creative process were not supported or freed in terms of making and conceptualizing a project that I'm connected to. Nevertheless, I've been using the workshops a lot, which enhanced my making and conceptual skills, the facilities in this course really push me to think outside the box in terms of props and creating pieces, I'm provided with so many materials and equipments that make it possible for me to create a lot. Plaster is a material I always wanted to work with, and in this course I had the opportunity to use it several times in a form that's minimalistic for my Co-create concept. 

The most exciting and difficult project for me was Co-create, surprisingly! At the beginning of the project I couldn't collaborate at all with the partner that I was set up with, we couldn't even communicate. It was a very challenging situation for me, because I had to think of a way to overcome that difficult set up. Eventually, I was able to conceptualize and contextualize most of the film/performance we did for the project. And, my project partner eventually agreed to my collaborative terms, so we ended working well at the end of the project. At times she wouldn't even show up, so I had to double the work on myself, but eventually she started helping progressively by the end of the project. I learnt from that experience is that you could overcome any challenging situation you're put in once you think through it clearly and reflect on the correct solution to take the project a further. 

Reflection, 18/07/2018

Yesterday was our presentation of the Pecha Kucha visual essays, everyone performed in different ways and different structures, which made each presentation interesting to witness. 

Some people of my group and others were nervous, it was humbling to see how each one of us handled the situation differently. I tried my very best to engage the audience into my talk, which after I got my feedback apparently worked out. It was challenging to explain every single complex point that I was presenting in 20 secs without rushing through or shutting off your point, but I managed that. However, my overall presentation was considered excellent, but I was still given minor criticism about how I didn't talk about my discipline enough, instead of explaining my work and linking it to the discipline with each slide. Nevertheless, it was a rewarding experience and I liked it a lot. Hopefully, the next time I present I'll try to maintain a strong point of discussion that's simple to justify or describe instead of talking about a single point that would last longer than it should. 
 
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Photography Planning Sheet For (Co-Create)

This a sheet that me and my project partner were given, to consider our photoshoot for the outcome we produced. However, it was a bit challenging for us to plan a photoshoot for a film, so we asked that tutors and they gave us permission to hand in the stills from the film that showcase our concept and aesthetic clearly, which is what we settled on by the end of the day. 

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"Numb" Angle 1 & 2 (Description)

These are the two clips we displayed in the critique as our final outcome. We plan to add sound, crop them in an equalized form for display in two different screens for the exhibition. 

“Numb” Angle #2

Reflection, 16/07/2018

Today is our last workshop day before the group critic on Tuesday and the evaluation of the Co-create project. Today me and my partner collected the objects we created for the film that we planned for. We collected the objects and set up our installation for the film. At first we were considering who would be the performer in the film, which was a bit challenging to settle on, but eventually I said that I would perform myself. I believe that the visuals of the film and installation communicated my concept fully. The concept is about the mentally and physically tormented soul of our harsh capitalist societies, it's about the struggling individuals of the lower middle class who are so close to poverty due to the infamous re-occurring housing crisis that are caused by corrupt financial institutions and a low growing economy. Because of that struggle and constant state of survival, he became numb to reality, unaware of his daily activities, his own being and movements. His obscured by potential with no sense of vision to the future and his wants, he drinks, he sleeps, he walks and his not aware even aware of it. This concept also tackles mental disorders, but it's mainly focused on the causes behind it rather than the actual disorder. 

The objects in the installation are selected intinially to communicate symbolism throughout the performance, such as the two made objects of the deconstructed hoodie attached to the ceiling and the plaster abstract bed that has no foundation of comfort. The hoodie is a social status choice, people of a lower middle class society tend to wear plain hoodies out in public, so I took the hoodie and deconstructed it in a form that conceals the person who's wearing it vision. The bed is a symbol of the house crisis, and a sign of uncomfort in daily life, and not paying attention to daily activities. The bottle of water and milk are symbols of cheap nutritions that are representative of street pollution and numbness of activity, we constantly drink milk and water and we're not even aware of it, we're numb to it just like the person in the performance. The trash can resembles closeness to poverty and homelessness. Setting up the installation was a very enjoyable moment for me, because you just get to see an idea that's originated from a sketch come to life, it feels very cathartic. I was directing the film while performing my partner was operating the camera and informing me if I got off the frame or not. We completed the shoot right before our tutorial at 2pm. Our tutor was impressed by the visuals and she suggested an artist to reference for our film which is Franz Walther. She also suggested for us to take stills out of the film and consider doing a booklet with it as well, which is an idea that I had in my mind as well to take this entire project to a fully developed and displayed level. 

After our tutorial, we went to edit the film and we decided to showcase two films of the same set but with different angels, and one of them is a still film with no editing. I'm currently working on completing that decision and hopefully I'll be able to select imagery that I would use as a booklet. I plan to edit the film in two different versions one of them is based off one angel and one still, and the other one is based off two angles and no stills. 

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Reflection, 12/07/2018

Today was the first workshop day of our co-create task. Me and my project partner started the day knowing exactly what object we wanted to construct through sketches and secondary sources, which is the interactive resting piece that we plan to display in the performance film we are making. The object is also influenced by Marina Abramovic's performance piece titled " Th House with the Ocean View. And later on, after our project tutorial we went to the wood and casting worship to cut and create our shapes for the object interactive with the performance. We were facing issues with the size of the wood at first, but then we improvised with a different piece of wood that was in the workshop, which eventually solved the issue. We completed the shape of the object and the structure of it, The object's materials are strictly inspired by our museum item. The base of the object was made out of wood, instead of plaster unlike our object, but we plan to fill the surface of our object with plaster on top. We created the structure of the object using wood and chicken wire. We plan to develop it further as an installation that links to the object that I was given at the CSM museum by testing it within a space and with a human interaction. 


By tomorrow me and my partner plan to deconstruct the hanged experiment of a garment into the ceiling by adding other materials and fabrics into the piece and attaching it to a decustomised hoodie that we plan to purchase from a charity shop. This entire experiment links to the social structure of the person within the performance that's numb to the joy of life. 

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Reflection, 09/07/2018

Our sixth project brief “Co-create." Was given to us today, which forms a group out of two individuals to create an outcome that's collaborative. By nature, I was excited for this project, because in my own interest of creative direction, collaboration is the main determining factor of any outcome. And the minute, I heard the brief of the project I became immensely excited, but I was hoping that I wouldn't be paired with someone that's difficult or impossible to work with. Unfortunately, I was paired with someone who's difficult to work with in terms of engagement and creativity. At first I felt like I would be able to handle the situation, but by the end of the day I was feed up with trying to engage with someone who's simply not able to reciprocate. Nevertheless, I improvised with the objects that we were asked to collection, sketched them out and developed colors and concepts out of them, and I plan to take the experiments I've done further by visualizing them on a particular set that would enrich my idea. By the end of the day my project partner started engaging a little by referencing artists and thinking about themes that link to the improvisations we did earlier during the day. The agreement we came up with so far is to do with dark imagery, a social or even a mental struggle of an everyday depressed/suicidal walker who's numb to all his or her surroundings. But there are others experiments that we have in mind, and we also realize that our concept my change once we are given our object at the CSM library. So, we kept our ideas quite open and flexible.

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Object Experimentation, Changing The Stool’s Context Through Repetition.

Reflection, 05/07/2018

Today's activity was based off drawing, it was a two day project that highlights observing performances with any material we please in order to enrich our knowledge and skills in them. We were all divided into 3 different groups. My group had a blend of performance art, which made it ethereal for me! Most of the work I created that's fashion based, has a an element or even a twist of performance art. I'm interested and inspired by several performance artists such as Marina Abramovic and Rebecca Horn, so to use my performance art knowledge to a drawing project was an intriguing experience. In our session we created narratives as group and drew them by any media we wanted.

After the drawing practice we were asked to observe objects that were in the room through drawing and writing. It was a great exercise, because we got to think about objects and items that we just usually pass by without paying attention to. So, analyzing their history, context and value was a marvelous experience that reminds an individual to stay grounded and focused by the simplest things around usMe and my project partner took an object and experimented with it, in different contexts and uses. To push our imagination, the object was a sit, that we turned into an accessory, a fashion based item. We made it interact with our bodies through a story. I thought it was a successful quick test, that pushed our creativity and imagination. 

The part I enjoyed the most out of today's activities was not the performance, or observational aspect it was the improvisation with did with the object and transforming its use in a form that's provoking, by using contemporary gestures that have different connotations such as bondage or just trying to sit comfortably on something/surface that's unstable. I plan to take this project further by creating several experiments to the object through a photographic storyboard of two narratives or even more.

  • Research and link performance into your experiments.
  • Use the sitting stool in different contexts.
  • Use film to emphasize different ways in where you can see the stool. 
  • Make your experiments conceptual by creating a mind-map discussing your different ideas. 
  • Only develop one into a final story board experiment using film or photography.   

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Reflection, Contextual Practice Session, 04/07/2018

Today, I spend the morning working on my sketchbook and finalizing all of the content that I had incomplete from the previous projects, so I can fully focus on the visual essay and the drawing project coming up, which I'm fairly excited for. Speaking of which we spend the entire afternoon in a contextual group session. It was about drawing we were asked to think and challenge the idea of drawing and reflect on it as well on workflow. During the presentation we were all given a paper with small circles to draw in for 3 mins, it was of course a challenge but I believe I did well in it. I plan to upload the sheet and reflect on the session and idea of drawing on my next reflection on the sessions's topic, "drawing".

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Reflection, 03/07/2018

Today I was able to complete the an experimental film that've been working on for quite sometime since the begging of the "making project", I combined different elements of my 5 outcomes into the film, such as the concept of flesh, metal piece and the poem I wrote. I believe the fashion film turned out better that what I expected and it's very appealing to me visually and contextually, because it metaphorically resembles so much political and social symbolism that's inspired by the first newspaper article we gathered in class.

I hope that I would be able to display that film in my year's exhibition at King's cross on the 7th of September 2018. The plastic used in the film channels a wrapped piece of meat, and it was added as an experiment and visual effect to the piece. Initially, I wanted to use red and black net/stitch to finish off the edges and corners of the metal piece, but since the stitching workshop was closed, I had to conceptualize something else, and what I came up with is more interesting in my opinion

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Reflection, 02/07/2018

After completing my metal workshop outcome, I was able to combine elements of the poem I wrote and object I created into my film. I used the structure I created as a creative tool to highlight my political angle of the project, flesh and steel. A human treated like a piece of meat against steel. I wanted to combine that angle of politics and social commentary into my short film, which is intimate and disturbing.


Today, I had my eLibrary induction which was truly striking in my opinion, it made me truly realize that I got so much information and knowledge under my finger tips thanks to the facilities and opportunity that CSM is providing me with in terms of research and exploration. I'm able to research and analyze any information I want, whether it's art/ fashion based, economical, financial or scientific, this opportunity that I'm given by Saint Martins facility is profoundly life changing, and I see my self gaining so much information and knowledge out of them today and in my future career. 

 

Reflection, 27/06/2018

Today during our contextual practice session we're given another project to work with while we're still completing our hand-made project, which is set to challenge us and put our abilities in a BA level. Nevertheless, I started planning for the new visual essay task I was given (Pecha Kucha), I improvised ideas during the session and then I took the concept even further when I got to stay with it myself and investigate what it is that I want to do with it. Eventually, I went home and I know about the slides of each square, I thought about the structure, my discipline and the story that I want to communicate through this visual essay. How can I make others engage and connect with my essay while I'm describing things that don't connect to the audience, and so I had to link it to them somehow. 

And we're also asked to reflect on where we're at the moment, in terms of our discipline and our art school environment. I believe that my discipline is profoundly challenging to define, it's creative direction for fashion. Which is all about conceptualization and visualization ideas for the medium of fashion either, it's a publication, collection, installation etc.. And, in creative direction we're encouraged to be as conceptual as we can to come up with ideas that can refine and challenge the "norm" in the commercial market. Speaking of which, creative directors are not only involved in the creative process of the fashion industry, they're also in the heart of the business of it at all. Creative directors are pressured to create something new but also pander to audiences and target an audience that would maintain a revenue and a profit for their own organization regardless of his or her competition, which can be highly intense to any creative person within the fashion industry but specifically creative directors and designers. I believe so much of what creative directors do is not only about communication in a digital formate, but we can also communicate through visualizing garments and illustrations. Considering where I am today and the level of education I'm working on I try my very best to be experimental and open to new things, because that's how a creative director works, it's the merge of different cultures, ideas, contrasts and aesthetics that makes what we do interestingly engaging as well as unique in any art industry within the commercial market. We make fashion not just about garments that are wearable and will sell, but instead we turned fashion into an artistic fantasy that creates a vision and space for the platform that's beyond life, we make it ethereal. 

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Reflection, 27/06/2018

Productivity and digital making was the factor of my day, I had the 3D film workshop with David, and in that session I took the clips and shots I conceptualized into an actual film that highlights the core of my concept, I'm very pleased with the experimental concepts I came up with, because although they all were produced under different materials and disciplines they still highlight the same concept I started this project with. I also wrote a poem that highlights the same experiment and concept that I created for the film. It could be a spoken word piece that goes along with the film as a monologue. I'm still Editing and completing the film, once it's fully done, I'll upload it on my workflow with a description. Edits of grain, red tone, fade and noise can all be seen on the screenshots of the film I've displayed on the bottom of this reflection, it's the technical atmosphere I wanted to experiment and communicate with. 

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Third Outcome/Experiment for "Hand Made"

This is the final outcome for the one day workshop I had. The wood piece links back to my first newspaper conceptualization I did in the begging of this project. I can imagine and visualize this abstract piece in a bigger scale as a fashion show installation. I plan to photoshop it into a space and see how it looks like with a bigger scale as a fashion installation. 

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Celebrating Archway (Project Description)

Reflection, 28/06/2018

I had two workshop today that were very intriguing and exhausting for me, because the ideas I had in mind for them were extremely ambitious for the timeline I had, so they required a lot of time and detail which is very tiring to complete in one day. Speaking of which, I was not able to complete the metal workshop, but I plan to get it down by Monday, hopefully, I look forward in filming myself wearing the piece, and linking all of the pieces I created together


Overall once the metal piece is completed, this project will be concluded. And, looking back at everything that I've done, I'm quite pleased with the way I improvised my political concept into each medium in different visual means and materials, such as wood, paint, film, print, newspaper, metal and poetry. At first, I must admit I was very conflicted and confused by this project because it wasn't consistent or discipline based, however, I eventually got over that feeling and delivered the right ideas through the challenge that I was given. Surprisingly, the medium that worked the most for me was the wood piece or an interior piece. It was very minimal, aesthetically appealing in color and shape, but also heavily inspired by my newspaper conceptualization process that I started this project with which resembles an abstract reproduction of a piece of meat, which metaphorically symbolizes how were are getting treated/viewed politically by each other. 


After seeing my peers work, I had mixed feelings about how this project was perceived. Personally, me and a few others were driven by a concept throughout each experiment, but to others it was just a matter of experiment with materials and creating samples. Overall, I was very proud of the things I improvised and created throughout this project, and the short time line I had.

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First Outcome/Experiment for "Hand Made"

This is the experiment and shape I developed from my newspaper experiment, I might take it further by recreating the shape in different materials such as wood or or plain calico on print. 

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Reflection, 25/06/2018

After the second group critic for our 2nd project "Celebrating Archway", a new project was introduced, our 3rd, titled "Hand Made", the core of the project is very fine arts based and expressive. It highlights how we can improvise concepts out of particular materials that we can connect to, and express freely. At first I was a bit confused with the brief and a bit uncomfortable with idea of  stepping out of my comfort zone with a project that's highly expressive without a commercial blend, but not until I was given newspapers and I had the opportunity to visualize and collage them in order to create a concept that's contextually inspired by today's newspaper headlines. 

I was able to curate 2 newspaper collages that are political, such as visualizing and objectifying other human beings as meat or flesh without senses, and telling them that their existence is not as important as money. Or politicians, mainly in the west, who advocate for human rights and equality, yet still, they support and make deals with countries that are governed by dictatorships. I'll eventually select one of the collages and develop them further into figurative shapes and objects that links to my concepts, that's the only conflicting I'm still trying to solve. I listed down power points I might complete for this task in order to take it further and make it more personal and exciting for myself. 

  • Body pieces using a fleshy-like contrast 
  • Use it as a body piece experiment in different parts of your chest. 

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Reflection, 22/06/2018

  • This morning we spend our day learning and practicing how to use the fashion studio during our stiching workshop. It was interesting and helpful. And I plan to use the sewing studio quite often in the future to create and conceptualize looks for my work and themes that are fashion based/ oriented. 

Reflection, 22/06/2018

Today was filled with activities. I started the day with a stitching workshop that lasted until my lunch break at 1pm, and instead of eating I rushed to edit, print and complete the visualizations I had to display for today's critique. Everyone was asked to display their work and discuss it with their group of three. And my group was very positive and supportive of my work, and I only got one point of criticism by a fellow student who said that the theme was unclear. Which was a feedback I was expecting from a concept that's as complex and exclusively symbolic to specific communities. I believe that it's hard to make a fair judgment out of my concept without understanding all of the resources behind it and what it means for me and certain lifestyles. I was exhilarated with the outcome I got for this project.

Reflection, 21/06/2018

At first, I thought of experimenting with the geometrical pattern I saw inside the pub, and using it as a background symbol for my imagery to make the shoot less literal to the pub. But after experimenting with that idea, I personally thought that it was too distracting and not as appealing as I thought it would be, so I decided to not take my pattern experiments further. Instead I will use the location of my shoot as the main symbolism of the visuals I plan to produce for this project. 

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Reflection, 20/06/2018

  • Today we had our first 3D and various other workshops, and it was very helpful. I was able to realize that I have the opportunity and ability to construct a concept from scratch and include structure and architecture to it in the future through the CSM facilities we have at Archway. It was a quite exciting afternoon and I can't wait to construct something that I would be able to create in the workshop studios that've been in today. 

Reflection, 20/06/2018

I was able to select and develop a garment that will match the experiments and references of the concept I have in mind after sketching them. Which is inspired by my idea of creating glamour in the midst of nothing inspired by primary and secondary sources of my research. I selected a fur coat as well as various garments that have exotic and symbolic textures that connote wealth, glamour and a particular social status such as fur. The couture reference of the fur cape inspired by Mugler's FW 1992, primary images of Archway walkers, and "Paris is Burning". I will develop the garments for the shoot I plan to complete by tomorrow by doing fittings with the garments and seeing how it would look on a model both female and male
 
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Reflection, 18/06/2018

In the mind-map and visualization I did, I aimed to show the contrast of how the pub is inside and outside, it was generally dead in terms of an atmosphere, there was no sense of youth around the pub, so I had to think of a narrative that would personalize and reshape the image of the Red Cap as a pub and a local business in Archway through a form of an unconventional celebration. Creating a character or persona for the pub sounds like the appropriate idea to develop for me in order to take this concept and location further, contextually. The bar tender at the pub was rude to me during my visit to the site, she didn't even allow me to shot or create anything inside the pub that would visualize and conceptualize my theme, so I think that I will base my shoot outside of the pub right in front of the entrance, but I do plan to take a few images indoors to engage with my location further. And, show how a person would go in or out of the Red Cap in Archway and their particular experience afterwards. I plan to showcase the narrative I have in mind through fashion based visuals and the model's behavior as well as symbolism through objects found in and around the pub such as beer and kebab. 

The visuals and concept are reflective of finding glamour in the midst of cheapness, celebrating the individuality and freedom of the mind and channeling an inner fantasy that's not real. The work will be underling identity, gender and delusion. I wanna showcase that glamor is a state of mind, not so much a reality, and if fantasy becomes heavily believed then it eventually turns into reality. I also, plan to develop this idea further by looking up secondary references that link with my concept for the project "Celebrating Archway.", such as:
 
  • Paris is Burning by Jennie Livingston.
  • Cooking in Couture editorial reference by Isabella Blow.
  • Runway references Thierry Mugler  
  • Makeup references by McQueen and Mugler.

Reflection, 17/06/2018

Although today is a weekend, I still managed to work on my concept and investigate how I want it to feel like aesthetically and contextually. I plan to produce a mind-map highlighting what I see in this project "Celebrating Archway", and how it reflects on my personality as a visual creator. What do I want to say? What's the purpose behind my concept, and how do I see it visually ? These questions are all things that I'm currently improvising and creating as I go with this project. I plan to come up with a clear idea of what I want to create and push myself to unexpected places. For, now I see vulgarity, recklessness and lostness being all factors behind the visual publication I aim to produce for this project. 

Reflection, 15/06/2018

During the same day of our introduction to the new project "Celebrating Archway", we were asked to spend the afternoon in Central Saint Martin's Library at King's cross to learn more about how the system works there and how we can develop research into our work correctly. The library staff were tremendously helpful and the environment at the library was very motivating and inspiring for me to research and go in depth with any subject matter that I wish to explore for my projects. I plan to use the library quite often during the period of my course to include accurate and useful references into my work and reflect critically on what I do as well. 

Self-Portrait (Final Outcomes)

These are the two final outcomes that I wish to conclude my first project with. I believe that I experimented technically and conceptually with this project enough to consider these two portraits as my finals. 

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Reflection, 14/06/2018

Today we presented all of our work in class discussing the meanings behind them and how we can develop them further. I shared my opinion with my friend's interesting work and I was profoundly intrigued my the entire experience of critiquing work with fellow creative individuals. We were all given a sheet to write down notes of our peers opinions of the work we all displayed. 

During the critique today I was given so many points about how my work is perceived, and how it could be developed. It made some of my fellow students uncomfortable as they said during the critique. Which is, something I aimed for purposely because the concept behind this project is supposed to connote pain and anxiousness. So, I'm glad that my concept came across the right way. As the work was shown in front of me in the presentation I decided to experiment with the visuals and take them further. The experiment I will do is gonna be my final outcome of the self portrait short project. I plan to scan my experiments and display them on my sketchbook and workflow. 

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Reflection, 12/06/2018

Today was quite an exciting day for me, personally, because I was given my first creative project to complete for FAD Plus titled "Self Portrait.".

I believe that this project in particular fits my personal and reflective publications that I have created in the past, which are pretty self-centered and personal. And, I've been criticized previously in the past by my fellow students and tutors for always using myself as the subject of my own creations for publications, or even project experiments. So, I think it's humorous for me to start off this course doing exactly what people have criticized me for, previously, and to use myself yet again as the main subject of my imagery. But, personally I believe that this 3 days project is highly important to me at the moment, in terms of expression, as a creative person who's currently struggling mentally and physically from loneliness as well as seeking to belong.

In my mind map for "Self-Portrait", I decided to state and list different words and ideas that connote how I feel like at the moment, emotionally. Such as, the phrases realistic feel and objects that reflect on loneliness and isolation.